Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I Wish...

...that Husband was home. Generally this is something that I wish for everyday...but tomorrow I really want him here! Or my Mom...I'll take either!

Tomorrow Baby has to get a VCUG - Voiding Cystourethrogram - An x-ray of the abdomen may be performed before the urinary bladder is catheterized. After cleaning the genital area a catheter is inserted through the urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the body, into the bladder. Then, the bladder is filled with a water-soluble contrast material. The radiologist or technologist will use fluoroscopy to monitor the filling of the bladder and urination. X-rays will be obtained during the monitoring. After the x-rays are checked, the catheter is removed.

It really is a simple procedure - I know that there are those that have to go through so much worse...but this is MY baby and I know that he is going to cry, scream, be uncomfortable...and regardless of the severity of the situation it is something that is difficult for any parent to experience. Then Thursday we get to head in the opposite direction to talk to the Urologist.

Like I said...not a big deal but I just miss him and want him here with me. I swear I am usually funny and sarcastic...hard when you have RSVP'd yes to a pity party for one. but I think the party is wrapping up!!

Happy Readings!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Losing my Escape

Husband has been gone a little over a month. Baby has been here for 3 weeks. We were starting to hit our stride, really get into a grove with me, myself, and I manning the reigns! And if I can say so myself, I was doing a good job. Yes, I had my hard days when I just wanted to ignore everyone, when the boys and I could not see eye to eye on anything...but besides my hair looking awful, desperately needing my eyebrows waxed, pedicure cleaned up and looking tired I managed to put a smile on when we left our four protective walls.

Then I lost my escape...the television, access to the ridiculous sitcoms, the dramas, the reality TV shows...how I miss you all!! It didn't really bother me to not have it for the boys. I feel like I was actually starting to use it too much to distract them, especially when I was tired. And by not having the TV has allowed me to get some reading done, get some writing done, look up useless information online(if anyone wants to know the compatibility of my family in regards to the Chinese Animal Calendar...I can let you know!) The downside to not having TV is at night also, it allows me to be alone with my thoughts and my fears...not having my escape there anymore. Instead of vegging out in front of the boob tube I need something to eat up the minutes that make up the night, until the next feeding, or the other boys cry. It makes the house painfully quiet and lonely, acting as a constant reminder that Husband is on his "vacation" putting the world at my fingertips and letting Google take the lead, which is never good. During this week without TV I have found maps, articles, interviews that I probably never would have, blogs from Gold Star Wives - just various aspects of life that make me face the reality and seriousness of the job that Husband does. Without the TV to take the reality out of our world for a brief time, we are forced to deal with our own reality...which isn't always as good as what TV has to offer.

As a lifesaver my TV repairman will be here by Thursday (hopefully!!). My goal is not to resort to the television as quickly once it is repaired...but when reality starts to set in, I will chose the reality of the Real Housewives of New Jersey over mine!

Happy Readings!

Behind the Scenes

In my six years as a military wife, I can honestly say that the communication and guidance that the military provides to the spouses has improved...drastically!!! There is more of a interest in caring for the families. Long gone are the days of the Key Wives (the KV), which consisted entirely of volunteers some who helped out from the goodness of their hearts and others who helped out for the gossip be it about the Marines themselves or the families that remained behind. Husband decribed the KV as the Key Wives Mafia. I cannot state that this is true or not because I kept to myself during that time, but I certainly heard stories from someone that knew someone that knew someone...judge for yourself!

The Marine Corps then transitioned to the Family Readiness Officer (the FRO). This is a payed position, generally a retired Marine or military spouse. They are basically there to answer any questions that arises, plan events while the Unit is gone, act as the liaison to the family while the guys (Husband is a grunt so he works only with guys!) are out doing their jobs. Essentially both the KV and the FRO do the same thing with 2 major differences - 1. The FRO gets paid and hopefully recognition for the job they do. The KV just got a bad rep. 2. The FRO is not directly affiliated with a the Unit, i.e. her hubby cannot work in the unit that she works for

Regardless of what the job is, be it a volunteer or a paid position I think that during the deployments it is essential that we look outside our own situations and think of all parties involved and thank them - even if you think you have the hardest job...because we all do at certain times!

Happy Readings!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

There are...

...a lot of things I will probably never be.
...a lot of things I will try to be.
...a lot of things I will fail to be.

The best I can do is improve upon who I was yesterday, accept my shortcomings and flaws, and put my best foot forward everyday.

This deployment has made my shortcomings and flaws as a parent painfully obvious to me. It's also allowed me to see a different side to our children. I am able to see how sensitive and observant the Ring Leader is; I've always known that he is so sweet and intune with his feelings, but he can articulate how he is feeling, what he wants to do, what frustrates him. I am able to see how loving Stinky is; he really does have the sweetest, kindest soul and despite not even being 2 years old is able to give affection at the perfect time....he can also throw a temper tantrum at the most inopportune time! I am able to see my shortcomings and how I need to improve as a parent, and in all honesty how hard it is to give them that father figure they need. I really hate "go time" which is when the boys get on the ground a just wrestle. I have no desire to be jumped on or punched, I could lie and come up with some nonsense, but at the end of the day, I just don't like it...that is Husband's job!

So we have had one month down in the deployment...I can either continue on the path I am on, during which we will all survive. It won't be awful however at the same time, it won't be great. Or I can do the best I can for these boys and give them everything I help them turn into the best infant, toddler, and preschooler they can be. And also take time for myself, so I don't burn out or get overwhelmed during it all. We will see how it goes...it is my resolve to do the latter, so I can improve upon myself as a mother and a wife.

I begin this self-improvement by finishing cleaning up and putting out the chocolate croissants for breakfast tomorrow...I said I was becoming a better person, not a better eater!

Happy Readings!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Start...

This is not the first blog I have started...this probably won't be the last. But I have started this separate from my "family" blogs...something to chronicle my life a military wife, raising my military brats and all the trials and tribulations that go along with it. The blog name comes from a quote that I have in the living room..."Enjoy the little things in life for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

I have been married to my Marine for the past 6 years...we are on our 3rd deployment since we got married. Obviously I love the man with all that I have otherwise I would have jumped ship a long time ago!! This life never gets any easier or harder, just the situations surrounding our life bring different challenges. We have 3 sons, obviously to prevent future humiliation I will not be using their real names - the Ring Leader, who is 3; Stinky Man who will be 2 in a few weeks and can get dirty 30 seconds after getting out of the bath tub; and Baby who is just 2 weeks old.

As I start this blog we are knee deep in a time of our military life that many cannot understand. My husband is deployed, with 3 sons under the age of 4. We are getting ready to move in August to a little piece of heaven in the low desert for CA also known as 29 Palms, before Husband gets home. My family thinks I am crazy to do this alone...hell most of my friends think I am crazy to take on this move alone - but I cannot have husband living and working 2 1/2 hours away from us, stealing moments when we can, we need to have him with us, so he can enjoy the good times and be tortured with me when the children stage a uprising! The children out number me, and quite frankly are smarter than me and are going to realize this in the near future - which makes his presence mandatory. There are strength in numbers!

So here we are getting ready to leave sunny Southern CA, trying to navigate our first deployment which children and this will chronicle the ups and downs we have along the way!

Happy Readings!